Familiar might feel safe, but is it always the case?

When our latest foster cats arrived with us, scared and traumatized and before they started to believe that we were worthy of their trust, they found a little hiding corner where they stayed for the first few days of healing. As time progressed, they become more comfortable exploring other parts of the room and house, but even then, if something scary happens (an unknown sound or person) they quickly run to this corner. They seem to believe that this corner offers them superior levels of safety compared to the rest of the house. This might in fact be true: here they are invisible to the untrained eye and they are very hard to reach by a human hand. So it all made sense, until it didn’t.. 

Last week, during the heatwave, their safe room became the hottest place in the house. If you know me, you probably never once heard me say the phrase "it is too hot", but this room was in fact TOO hot! So we offered them other options and other cooler places for them to rest during the day when the sun was blazing through their room. To my surprise they didn’t exactly seem grateful for this and they even took every chance to run upstairs back to their safe corner! Except that now, this safe corner was dangerously hot and putting their health at risk! 

And as i often do with these things, i drew a parallel between them and us and started to ask: how often do we humans do this in more subtle ways?  How often do we choose perceived safety and endanger our health, our balance and even our lives in the process? How often do we go back to an unbearable room when life offers us other options,  due to the ingrained belief that we belong in that room?

In other words, how often do we keep carrying and perpetuating old habits and patterns that no longer serve us? Patterns that once were protective and at some point became destructive.

Because that’s the thing about our most inefficient and destructive patterns and habits: they all once served a purpose, they once protected us from something that was unbearable just like that little room for the 3 cats scared for their lives. But at some point, and likely very slowly, these patterns became not so useful and later they might have even become harmful! And along that process we carried on choosing that perceived safety/protection over everything, even if that in itself was now the cause of pain to ourselves and others around us. 

So how do we break that link? Awareness is the first step but it won’t take you all the way so talking and rationalising it will help but only so much. There is a chance that we need to access the deeper places where those things are stored, that we need to move away from the thinking mind that created the problem in the first place and tap into something else that has been taking the toll all this time: the body and its tissues and the energetic body and its layers. 

These unconscious things keep guiding our lives long after they served a purpose, is what our next guest specialties in!

Gareth Riddy is the author of How to Undo the Sh!t the Modern World Does to Us and a dedicated healer and teacher of healing. Often referring to himself as an "emotional laxative," Gareth specialises in helping individuals release accumulated emotional weight. A full-time nomad on a continuous spiritual quest, he follows his inner guidance across the globe and was last seen in Georgia, making friends with the local street dogs and cats while exploring the deeper meaning of "home”.

In my recent session with Gareth, we explored big themes of shame, deservedness and self love using a mixture of techniques like breathwork, tapping, specific nerve stimulation, affirmations and vibrations to locate & dissipate unresolved emotional issues and their physiological & psychological consequences

He is back in his home town next month and is giving me the honour of hosting a group session with him here at Be. The Underground Retreat! 

I feel like it is important to say that you do not need to talk or to disclose any information during the sessions for this to be beneficial to you! The rest you will have to find out for yourself!

Are you curious? Follow this LINK and come join us on the 27th of July at Be. The Underground Retreat!

I will leave you with the words of Ram Dass: “I can do nothing for you but work on myself...you can do nothing for me but work on yourself!”

That's it from me, thank you for reading!

I deeply appreciate your time and attention, in a world so scarce of both 🤍